Don’t Beat Around the Bush: How to Talk to Your Gyno
Let’s be real — talking to your gynecologist can feel like confessing your sins to a stranger with a speculum. Whether you’re there for a routine check-up or a weird symptom you Googled at 2am, it’s easy to downplay what’s going on. You might want to say, “It’s probably nothing,” or worse, say nothing at all. But here’s the truth: you deserve to tell the full story — because that’s the only way to get the full answer. So let’s break down how to talk to your gyno without shrinking yourself, sugarcoating the truth, or apologizing for existing.
You’re Not Being Dramatic — You’re Being Honest
That pain that only happens during sex? Say it.
That discharge that smells like sourdough starter? Say it.
That fear you’ve had for three months but haven’t mentioned yet? Say. It.
Gynecologists aren’t mind readers — and your symptoms won’t get solved if they stay secret. You’re not overreacting. You’re reporting facts.
Use the Words You Have — Not the Ones From a Textbook
You don’t need to know the difference between a labia majora and a Bartholin gland. Just say where it’s at and what it feels like — the bump next to the bigger bump, burning, itching, or random stabbing pain like a tiny ninja in your pelvis. Use your words — and if those words are “it feels off,” that’s enough to start. And don’t knock the good old pointing with your own finger — that works too.
Don’t Clean Up for Us
Seriously. You don’t have to wax, wash, or go the extra mile just for your gynecologist’s sake. They’re not there to judge — they’re there to treat. This is their job. They signed up for it, and they do it every day. There’s nothing you can show them that they haven’t seen before. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable — but you don’t have to give them the Instagram version — and you are not there to take glamour shots.
You Can Bring Notes (or a Friend)
If you’re nervous, write down what you want to say before you walk in. Symptoms, questions, weird things you noticed but forgot to Google. It’s not weird — it’s smart. You can even bring a support person if it helps you feel safe and grounded.
Tell Only Who You Want To
It’s common in medical offices to be asked questions by several people — a nurse, a medical assistant, a student, or — even worse — someone at the front desk asking in front of the whole waiting room (cue the flushed cheeks). If you feel comfortable sharing, go for it. But if it’s personal and you’d rather save it for the doctor, that’s okay too. You can decline to answer — or offer a little white lie to get you to the person you actually came to talk to. Your body, your boundaries.
You Can Always Ask for What You Need
Do you prefer a female provider? Want someone to explain every step before touching you? Want to skip the exam but still ask questions? SAY SO. You’re allowed to set boundaries. A good provider will respect them — and if they don’t, that’s not your fault. It’s a red flag.
Pelvic Exams Deserve Their Own Article (and We’ve Got One)
Making a pelvic exam less painful — both mentally and physically — is a topic all on its own. From numbing gels to nervous system tricks, we’ve got you covered. Check out our full article on how to make pelvic exams less awful.
The Bottom Line
Talking to your gyno shouldn’t feel like giving a TED Talk while naked. You’re not there to impress anyone — you’re there to take care of yourself. So don’t beat around the bush. Say what’s real, ask what you need, and remember: your body is not embarrassing. It’s just human.
