HPV: Everyone’s Got It, No One Talks About It
HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world — and somehow still the one we talk about the least. It’s not dramatic like herpes, curable like chlamydia, or rare enough to feel exotic. It’s just… there. Quietly passed from partner to partner, often without anyone realizing.
So let’s change that.
This article will walk you through what HPV actually is, how it spreads, what to do if you have it, and how to talk about it without shame. Because keeping quiet has never helped anyone — but information just might.
What Is HPV?
HPV stands for human papillomavirus — a group of more than 100 different viruses that infect human skin and mucous membranes. Some types literally do nothing. Others are low-risk, causing genital warts (distressing, but harmless). And then there are high-risk strains - the ones linked to cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, penis, and throat.
It’s a sexually transmitted infection, but not in the “I got this from fluids” sense — it spreads through skin-to-skin contact. That means:
- Oral sex? Yep.
- Genital-to-genital grinding? Also yes.
- Hand stuff? Even that’s not off the hook.
Barrier methods like condoms and dental dams help, but they don’t block everything - because HPV isn’t just hanging out in one spot.
How Common Is It?
Exceedingly common. Like “most sexually active people will get it at some point” common.
The majority never even know they have it because their immune system clears it on its own. No symptoms. No drama.
But sometimes, it sticks around. And when high-risk HPV lingers, it can start to change cells — especially in the cervix — in ways that increase the risk of cancer.
What Does HPV Have to Do with the Pap Smear?
A lot — but also, not everything. Pap smears don’t test for HPV directly. What they do is look for abnormal changes in the cervical cells that usually are caused by HPV. In patients over 30, HPV testing is often done alongside the Pap (this is called “co-testing” — read more in our article on Pap smears!). In younger patients, HPV testing is usually skipped because the immune system is more likely to clear the virus on its own — and we don’t want freak people out unnecessarily. But there are exceptions. People with weakened immune systems — like those living with HIV or taking medicines that suppress the immune system — may be more likely to have persistent infections and should be followed more closely.
Why Aren’t Men Tested for It?
Here’s where things get frustrating. People with penises aren’t routinely tested for HPV — not because they don’t get it (they do), but because there’s no FDA-approved test for them outside of research or specific screening programs, like anal Pap smears for high-risk groups.
The justification? Penile cancer is rare. But that doesn’t mean HPV is harmless to men. They can still develop cancers in the throat and anus from high-risk strains. And they can absolutely pass it to partners — often unknowingly.
So remember this if you’re having fun time with someone who has a penis: even if you’re being smart and asking about recent test results, they may say everything’s clear — and still have HPV. They’re not lying. It’s just not included in the typical STI panel they’re getting.
That’s not okay — and it’s important to know. The fact that HPV testing is focused almost exclusively on people with cervixes isn’t just a medical oversight — it’s part of a system that treats sexual health like it’s a “female responsibility.” Testing everyone would not only protect more lives — it would normalize shared responsibility. Imagine that!
Can You Treat It?
Not directly. There’s no antiviral drug to wipe out HPV itself. But the effects can be treated.
- Genital warts can be removed.
- Abnormal cervical cells can be monitored or removed before they turn into cancer.
- And your immune system — with a little support — can often do the rest.
Some supplements like AHCC (Active Hexose Correlated Compound) have shown promise in small studies for helping the body clear persistent HPV. It’s not a miracle cure, but it’s worth discussing with a healthcare provider.
What About the Vaccine?
The HPV vaccine (Gardasil) is one of the biggest public health wins of our time. It helps protect against the strains most likely to cause cancer and warts. However, it is important to know that it is not 100% effective, and doesn’t protect against all the strains. It’s a big help - but it doesn’t get you out of needing those pesky pap smears. Some facts about the vaccine:
- Ideally given before someone becomes sexually active (around age 11–12)
- But approved up to age 45 — so it’s worth asking about, even if you’re all grown up!
- No, getting the vaccine doesn’t mean you’re “promiscuous.” It means you’re smart.
- Even if you’ve already had one strain, the vaccine can still help prevent others (yes, you can get more than one).
- There’s also some research looking into whether the vaccine can help your body fight off a strain you already have, but the jury’s still out on that one. fingers-crossed!
The Stigma Sucks — Let’s Talk About It
Here’s what feels especially unfair: most people have HPV and don’t even know it, but the second you do find out, you’re hit with a moral dilemma.
Do I have to tell people?
What if they freak out?
Am I a menace to society?
You’re definitely not a menace. But the other questions? Ethically complex.
Unlike STIs like gonorrhea or chlamydia — where both people get treated and move on — HPV is often invisible, untestable in certain partners, and sticks around. That makes disclosure...tricky.
You probably don’t have to tell someone you hooked up with three years ago at a party. But in an ongoing relationship, or before things get serious, a conversation might be worth having. If there is someone you want to tell that you thought (hoped…) you left in the past - you can even use anonymous partner notification apps to get the job done.
Whatever you choose: it’s your body, your boundary. But shame shouldn’t be the thing steering the wheel.
So Let’s De-Drama This
HPV is wildly common. If you’ve ever had sex — or even something close to sex — you’ve probably encountered it. The silence around it helps no one. The more we talk about it, the less power it has. That’s how stigma works: it thrives in the dark, but withers in the light.
HPV isn’t your fault. It’s not a punchline. And it shouldn’t be something you carry around like a dirty secret.
You’re not alone. You’re not gross. You’re not the exception — you’re the rule.
And now? You’re also informed.
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